Case Dismissed–Gladly

Published August 24, 2011

A Kentucky circuit court judge was pretty happy when a case set to go to trial before him settled. How happy? Here’s what the judge wrote:

“Such news … made this Court happier than a tick on a fat dog because it is otherwise busier than a one legged cat in a sand box and, quite frankly, would have rather jumped naked off of a twelve foot step ladder into a five gallon bucket of porcupines than have presided over a two week trial of the herein dispute, a trial which, no doubt, would have made the jury more confused than a hungry baby in a topless bar and made the parties and their attorneys madder than mosquitoes in a mannequin factory. …”

Source: “News of Settlement Makes Court “Happier Than a Tick on a Fat Dog,” lowering the bar, August 1, 2011