First, you can sing in the church choir when the lights flicker on and off. This will cause you to stumble on the altar “steps and stairs” (we guess there must be a difference), thereby suffering “severe and permanent injuries, both externally and internally, and … great pain and anguish, both in mind and body,” which will require you to expend “large sums of money” for medical care and services in an effort to “become healed and cured” of “said injuries,” all to the tune of $50,000 or more.
At least that’s the complaint of Ruby Henning-Haney against The Apostolic Pentecostal Church of Morgan Park and Willie Wilson Productions, Inc. in the Circuit Court of Cook County, County Department, Law Division. The Apostolic Pentecostal Church of Morgan Park is where Henning-Haney purportedly fell on the altar stairs; Willie Wilson Productions allegedly provides “production services for religious services,” including presumably lighting and sound equipment for the church choir.
The same complaint includes in its laundry list of actionable behavior that the church and Willie Wilson productions were negligent in their “management, maintenance and control of the Allstate Arena premises and food and beverage service,” which would not appear upon reflection to have much to do with Henning-Haney slipping on the altar steps.
For those not familiar with the greater Chicago area, Allstate Arena, formerly known as “the Rosemont Horizon,” is a sports and entertainment venue located in Rosemont, Illinois. It’s located between 30 and 40 miles, and hour to 90 minutes by car, depending on route and traffic conditions, from the Apostolic Pentecostal Church of Morgan Park at 11401 S Vincennes Avenue in Chicago.
Can’t plaintiffs’ attorneys at least read these things before they file them?